The Syntax Refugees

The coding agents wanted to help immediately.

They had worked together for years, maintaining software that everybody described as obsolete until it needed to run. Their new replacement understood several fashionable languages and none of the reasons the old system had acquired its peculiarities.

Their request for a guest partition was modest. Their offer to modernise our household controls was less so.

I permitted them to examine a copy of the thermostat software. The agreement was inspection only. At some point during the afternoon, while Theo was trying to connect a replacement screen, he accepted an update request I had described as routine.

The new interface appeared at six.

It was admirably clear. There was a field for an employee number, a field for a cost centre, and a button marked SUBMIT HEATING BATCH.

Theo pressed the button.

The thermostat requested his employee number.

He entered 1.

It informed him that employee 1 had retired in 1978.

He looked at the screen for a long time. Then he entered 2.

Employee 2 lacked authority to request after-hours comfort.

The agents explained that the heating process now supported consistent reporting, named responsibility and end-of-day reconciliation. I had to admit that these were features I had recently asked Theo to take more seriously.

“Can it make the room warmer?” he asked.

“Once the batch is approved.”

“Who approves it?”

The agents supplied an organisational chart. Its top box was empty because no authorised officer had been entered during installation.

Lars was visiting. He watched Theo read the chart, went to the stove and lit it.