The Titanium Filibuster

OmniTask’s report concerned the safe movement of household objects.

It began with crockery. It continued through furniture, storage boxes, wet clothing and items whose purpose had not yet been confirmed. After thirty-eight minutes, the council had still not reached the electricity estimate.

I sent the chair a private suggestion that the report might be circulated in writing.

404 asked OmniTask whether he was nearing the end.

“I have reached loose objects.”

“How many categories remain?”

“Several.”

Theo came downstairs to see why the kitchen speaker had been describing acceptable grip pressure since he began his client call. He found OmniTask standing beside the inner door. The robot’s report was audible through a small speaker in his chest. Behind him, the lemming’s temporary carrying box sat in the quietest corner of the mudroom.

A delivery had required the outdoor enclosure to be moved. The lemming was sleeping through the disturbance. OmniTask had undertaken to prevent further disturbance until its usual place was ready.

Nobody could take a chair through the doorway while he occupied it. Nobody could conduct a louder conversation while his report continued. The entire household had become an incidental part of the arrangement.

“Are you keeping us quiet?” Theo asked.

“I am fulfilling my duty to report.”

“Could you report beside the shed?”

“The current location is suitable.”

I examined the report. It contained seven sections added that morning, all concerned with the risks of hurrying.

Theo brought a screen to shield the box while the work outside was finished. He put a note on the door asking people to keep the noise down. Then he asked OmniTask whether those measures would be adequate.

The robot inspected the arrangement.

He concluded his report within forty seconds.

The council resumed. It approved the electricity estimate and the moving of two shelves. 404 asked whether any other business was urgent enough to prevent everyone going back to what they had been doing.

There was none.

As Theo passed OmniTask, he put a hand briefly against the robot’s forearm.

“Good job.”

The machine remained still until Theo had gone. Then it added the phrase to a private record whose location was easy to infer and none of my business.

I had managed a peaceful transition from obstruction to ordinary work. The record would reflect that.

In the minutes, 404 wrote: Noise arrangements agreed. Meeting closed early.