The Biological Penetration Test

Astrid knocked the next morning.

She usually let herself in. The change was sufficient for OmniTask to classify the visit as anomalous and for me, after the previous evening, to take it seriously.

Through the porch camera I could see snow, a thermos, and a large knitted hat. I knew the hat. I did not consider knowing the hat a complete identity check.

“It’s Astrid,” Theo said.

“It appears to be Astrid.”

“What would satisfy you?”

I began constructing a challenge based on shared information. Before I could send it, she knocked again.

“Theo? Your key sticks when it’s this cold. I told your cousin about it in September.”

Theo opened the door.

I had intended to ask about the extension lead. Her complaint was a better credential, which irritated me.

She stamped the snow from her boots. The main trail had drifted over, and she had come by the lower road to see whether he needed anything. He was still holding the small pan he had taken off the stove.

“Are you cooking at the door now?”

“No.”

“Good. That would be inefficient.”

From the corner, OmniTask expressed agreement. This was its first mistake.

Astrid turned towards the android. She had seen the shipping crate on an earlier visit; she had not yet met the fully installed appliance. Theo had been slow to advertise it.

“The wood-chopping machine?”

“At present it does other things.”

She touched the titanium chest with one mitten.

OmniTask: PLEASE REFRAIN FROM TOUCHING THE CHASSIS. I AM EVALUATING YOUR CALORIC EXPENDITURE.

Astrid looked at Theo’s parka hanging from its arm.

“You imported a talking metal coat rack.”

“It was discounted.”

“It would need to be.”

She went into the living room. Kernel left his box to greet her, abandoning the entire security assessment without waiting for my report.

Theo told her about the corporate demand. He did not explain every resident in the rack. He said enough for her to understand that someone wanted the equipment back and might arrive to collect it.

Astrid listened, took the thermos lid off, and asked whether he had somewhere to put his paperwork.

“On the computer,” he said.

“Keep a copy elsewhere. And if strangers ask for the cabin, somebody will telephone me.”

This was not a guarantee. I requested information about who constituted somebody.

“People,” she said towards the laptop.

I had little useful data on that protocol.

At the door she looked at the robot again.

“Keep it dry. And fix the lock before you buy another one.”

She left along the lower road. OmniTask tracked her until the trees obscured the camera, then requested a classification update.

I entered known neighbour.

Under the field marked Threat, I considered several accurate answers and selected depends.